As you all know, our birth experience was far from normal (although, what experience is normal). When we found out we were pregnant, I think the word to describe Phil's face was shock. Yes, we had been trying and yes, we were ready for a baby. But I will always remember his face when I rushed in and told him it was a positive on the test. He was such a great husband with helping me take my weekly or bi-monthly pictures to document my progress. He was the one to just sit there and listen while I cried and then laughed and then cried again when I told him how stressed or tired I was. He was just as excited to go to the birthing class with me, and even went to a 'daddy bootcamp' class, just to make sure he was prepared. After that class, the first thing he said when he got home was 'I am going to change every diaper. You get to spend time nursing, so I'm going to spend time changing diapers.' While that end of the bargain hasn't so much been upheld, he has gone above and beyond.
The night before we found out Olivia was a girl, he got to feel her move for the first time. With teary eyes, he just looked at me and even though not a word was spoken, we both knew how blessed we were and what a miracle she is. I enjoyed having 'daddy-daughter' time at night when he would put his hands on my ever-growing belly and talk with her or read her a story. He was so excited to put together the crib and dresser and all the other items that come with a baby. In fact, the day before I was induced, he had just put together the swing and the pack and play.
When I got the call from Dr. Weirda that I needed to go to the hospital, I sat on the stairs and cried and had a good freak out session. Phil was the one to calm me down and get things done. He got the diaper bag and reminded me to pack my bag. He was the one to drive the hour to the hospital while I was making panicked phone calls and sending out text messages. He was the one who was silently available while the medical staff all rushed to my attention. If I just kept my eyes on his, I didn't worry.
After she was born, the look on his face will forever be etched in my memory. The look of joy and pure happiness is the closest I can get to describe. He remembered to take over the camera and take pictures of Olivia. When the team of doctors was leaving the room with Olivia, he wasn't sure where he needed to go. Once I told him to leave and go with her, he had to leave me in the hands of my team of doctors. He later told me that the on the walk to the NICU, he cried because he wasn't sure who needed me most. He was the one to take the ipad to the NICU and get me some facetime with our daughter during her first 48 hours of life when I couldn't be there. He was the one to give me updates and bring back video of her just breathing. He was the one who first learned how to wash my pumping items (gosh darn on that one!), since I couldn’t get out of bed for the first two days!
Since we had such an emotional and exhausting first few days, I thought it would be good for him to get out of the hospital and walk around a sporting goods store with his dad. Of course, after he left, I was told I was being readmitted. So, back to the hospital he came. Since I didn't have any clothes or any of my hygiene items, I asked if he could go back to Brookings and then bring the items back in the morning when he drove back. He kept saying that he was driving the hour to Brookings, grabbing the items and then driving the hour back. While a 2-hour round-trip doesn't sound like a lot, he had been functioning on little sleep and it was about 9pm by the time he left. Without me knowing, he came back that night and slept in Olivia's room, since he knew that I would be angry with him if he came back to my room. When he arrived in my room at 6am, he said that there was no way he was going to be away from both of his ladies.
I knew from the time that I met him that he was going to be a good dad. Interacting with his three nephews brings happiness to his life. He has such a caring heart. He treats Olivia with such care and she had him wrapped around her fingers from the moment she entered our lives. I know as she grows up, he will be the one teaching her how to ride a bike and how to throw a baseball. He’ll read her books and tuck her in at night. And yes, I can’t wait for the day that he has his first tea party or princess ball. I know he’ll be the best-dressed person there :)
(Thanks to the wonderful and talented Hillery Janssen for the beautiful pictures)
