The other night during my evening Facebook browse (yes, it is a nightly ritual for me- don't judge), I ran across this article that someone had posted:
http://carolynee.net/a-letter-from-a-working-mother-to-a-stay-at-home-mother-and-vice-versa/
I thought it was a great perspective from both sides of this mommy road that we are on. And it made me start thinking about all of the times I have put myself down, or been discouraged, or happy, or anxious or content with the decision that I have made to be a part-time stay-at-home-mommy and a part-time working mommy. I am my worst critic. I doubt myself more times than I need to and I worry about nonsense. These past few weeks have been some of the hardest weeks. Olivia and Phil were both sick with ear infections and tonsillitis 2 weeks ago. The nights were sooo long with a crying baby and not much I could do for her. After a week of barely sleeping, I had reached my limit. I had to cancel class one morning because I couldn't go more than 10-15 minutes of talking without crying. In the past 2 weeks, I have cried in front of two different doctors, in front on the receptionist at school, a board member of the swim team, and Olivia's daycare (as well as many times in front of Phil and to my mom). But, I know that things are meant to be and there is a plan for me, so I need to be content and have peace knowing that the decisions that have been made are the right ones for now.
Dear Olivia's SAHM,
I know sometimes the nights get long and sometimes the days feel longer. While Olivia is only sleeping 3-4 hours at a time at night, things will get better. I know you feel like it's your job to take care of her during those dark nights, since you want her daddy to get the sleep he needs to go and work a stressful job. Even though she fights almost every nap, there will come a day that the routine that you have tried over and over again will click and she will sleep. While some joke around that you stay in your pajamas all day and just get to sit because you only have one child, just one infant to take care of... they don't know how hard you work to keep your one year old entertained. You work hard to make sure she gets enough play time, story time, singing time, and cuddling time. You do well with trying to get her to eat nutritious food, even though you sometimes have to eat your breakfast and lunch standing up while holding her. Or eat with one hand while playing with her. They don't know that you consider it a great day when you've been able to shower with no baby distractions. I know you worry about finances almost daily and think about the 20+ jobs you have applied for in the past 6 months. But, Olivia loves spending time with you. She loves learning to do things first with you. She loves crawling all around the house just to follow you. She loves giggling as you help her crawl up the stairs. And she loves that you are one of her best playmates, and have been for the past year. She knows that you will be there for her when she cries, to laugh with her when she giggles and to clap your hands when she has accomplished something new. You are doing a great job mommy.
Dear Olivia's WM,
Your daughter has an amazing woman to look up to. She will soon learn about how her mommy not only finished graduate school, worked a teaching assistant position and worked as head coach, but she did that all while her daughter was in the NICU in another city that was an hour away. She will learn that it's okay to pursue her educational dreams and to try different jobs. Olivia loves her daycare and you and your husband did a great job with picking out a loving and caring facility for her to go to for those few hours every day. While it isn't easy going from one job to the next, you are able to do it. Having four part-time jobs isn't a piece of cake, but you do it with a smile on your face. Sometimes it takes writing a swim practice at 10pm, other times it takes reviewing a teaching lesson at 6am, but you do it. I know some days you wish you had a 'typical' 8-5 job, in which you could leave your work at your desk and be able to have dinner every night with your family. But, on those evenings that you are working late, your daughter is having an amazing opportunity to bond with her daddy. Right now, I know you are anxious about having to travel for 3 days for a swim meet and not be close to her, but your daughter knows that you love her more than anything. Some day, she will understand the love you have for her when she hears about the trials of having to find a place to pump and some of the conditions that you had to pump in. Some day, she will know that the few hours away from her meant that you were helping others. And some day, she will have her first job and you will be able to tell her some great stories that you have about your first (and second and third) job. You are doing a great job mommy.
