Sticks and Stones

When I younger, I remember the saying of ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.’ As Olivia is getting older, we are trying to teach her not to hit or bite, to say please and thank you and to have manners. While she is still young and may not comprehend a lot of what we are telling her, Phil and I are quickly realizing how much Olivia is watching our behaviors and listening to our words. This morning, I had Olivia on the countertop in the bathroom so I could wash off her face and comb her hair before we went out for the day. Without any prompts, Olivia reached over to the soap dispenser, tried to get some soap out and then turned on the water and rubbed her hands together. Phil and I have never formally taught her how to wash her hands (in fact, most days, I just do the wet wipe rinse off!), so to see her do something that Phil and I do multiple times a day just shows how much she is watching our every move and learning from our actions.

As a parent, I am not looking forward to the day when Olivia says that she doesn’t like me and thinks that I’m a bad person. While I’m optimistic that I will always be the best mom in every situation and she will always love me, I know that probably won’t happen. I am also not looking forward to the day that a friend calls her a name or says that she isn’t her friend anymore. Words at a young age can hurt, since you are just discovering the art of friendship. I am hoping to teach Olivia that she needs to think about the power of her words before she uses them. Once she speaks words, they cannot be hidden and put back.

Unfortunately, words can hurt at any age. A few weeks ago at the state swim meet, two parents did not agree with something that occurred at the meet. Their words were not very kind and left me feeling pretty low. While I thought that those words were a one-time deal, the parents have continued to use their words to let me know how they felt about that situation, as well as many other situations. It’s been an emotional couple of weeks for me. I just think that as an adult, I should be able to let things ‘go in one ear and out the other.’ But I am finding that unfortunately, there are some things in life that hurt just as much as they did when I was younger. An article that I read stated that bad emotions and bad feedback have more impact than good ones.  And, bad events wear off more slowly than good one. So while this past swim season was full of great and wonderful memories, I am unfortunately stuck dwelling on this one bad memory.

I am trying to make this situation into a learning experience for me. I know I am not the greatest in always speaking positive words and thanking people for the things they do to help me each and every day. I am going to try and use my words to encourage and show my appreciation for those around me. So, in the wise words of Ellen DeGeneres, 'Be kind to one another.'