Keeping up with...

I am that mom. I want so much for my little girl to have the best life possible that I read everything about what she should be doing at this age. What toys she needs to have. What developmental milestones she should be hitting. And what I need to be doing in order to help her reach these milestones. What is typical for a child at each age. I read updates and see pictures of other babies on facebook and I compare what those babies are doing.  Problem is, Olivia is… Olivia. She is not ‘the 5 month baby’ that I read about on babycenter.com . She doesn’t belong in a categorized group. She doesn’t have a manual (however, that would come in handy some nights). She is special in her own way. She is loved to the moon and back by her mommy and daddy. And aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents.  And that is the most important thing in the world.

Olivia's first trip to the pool

According to books I’ve read or advice I’ve received from people, it would seem that I’m setting Olivia up for failure. I don’t have a consistent work schedule, therefor Olivia is not on a daily schedule yet. But, for the most part, we are able to keep some routine from 9pm-7am on most days. I don’t have the healthiest diet, so that means I’m not giving Olivia the perfect nutrition that she needs. I am not able to stay 100% stress-free and keep things calm for her. But, I am able to provide her with love and support and many days and nights of good cuddle time. I am able to read to her, sing to her, dance with her, do tummy time with her (even though she still hates  it), smile and laugh with her and give her all the love that I can straight from my heart.

I know Olivia had a special start. She entered the world almost 6 weeks earlier than we had planned. But, that is when God wanted her to bless our lives. With her early beginnings, she is a little behind the typical 5 month old. But, I have to continually remind myself that she is technically not even 4 months old. We have been in contact with the Birth to 3 program and they will be doing an assessment on Olivia so we know what areas we can provide more assistance to her to help her continue to develop. At her well baby visits, her pediatrician is happy with her progress. Olivia is doing great with her weight and length. At her June visit, she was in the 5^th percentile for weight and the 10^th percentile for length (as she had been at her 2 month visit).  She’s been spitting up a little more than usual (she’s been taking Zantac for the past two months), so I took her in last week for a weight check. At 5 months old, Olivia weighed in at 12 pounds and 8 ounces (so a gain of 1 pound and 1 ounce from her 4 month weight). So, I breathed a sigh of relief as that is one thing that I am doing right. My darling baby is healthy and gaining weight, like a typical baby is supposed to do.

I'm 5 months old!

Our little family has our own way of doing things. We don’t have the ‘typical’ set up of two working parents. Thankfully on July 2, I passed my examinations to complete graduate school (thank goodness!), so that is one less thing on my plate. And last weekend was the state swim meet, so I will be done with coaching until September. So, I am so very blessed that I will have a full month of full-time mommy duty with my little girl. As Phil put it, I am finally getting my maternity leave that I wasn’t able to have after she was born (the day after Olivia was born, I was writing swim practices and the week after, I was back to school and homework).  But, while I can have those precious moments, I now have to worry about finding a job. As I previously mentioned, I want to provide Olivia with the best opportunities. Bummer thing is that a lot of opportunities come with a price tag. So, now I’m in the same dilemma that almost every mommy has to face… be a stay-at-home mommy or go to work? Seriously government, let’s pay the stay-at-home mommies!

It seems that we live in a world where things are always compared (and I am probably the queen of it most days). Bodies are scrutinized and achievements are completed at an earlier age or a faster rate. I will admit that I was on the bandwagon of the Royal Baby Watch and I was excited that Kate could join our circle of mommies. Then I was dismayed when I read an article about her choice of outfit to wear when she showed off her new baby and the fact that she didn’t cover up her baby bump. Seriously people, the woman just gave birth 24 hours earlier and that is the first thing you can think of?!? I thought the outfit was adorable and perfect for the occasion. But, what do I know…

It is a hard lesson of not comparing, and it is one that is taking me a few months to learn. But, in my heart, I know that I am doing the right thing for Olivia. What we do with this baby may not be what we do with the next baby. For right now though, it works for us.  And the adorable smile that Olivia greets me with every morning is proof that I am doing something right.