Blessings

Last night, I had one of those moments. Mommies and daddies out there, I think you can relate. It was one of those moments that was so routine and that I had done many times before, but for whatever reason, last night tugged at the heart strings. Maybe it's because that was the moment in which the stress from the week disappeared. Or maybe it's because that was the moment in which I didn't care about anything else in the world. How cruddy I was feeling and how stressed I was about work and the fatigue simply melted away. And it was all because of the sweetest little girl.

August 2013

Phil and I have a system in which one of us will give Olivia a bath and then the other will put her to bed. Some nights, that system runs smoothly. Some nights, only one of us in home during the evening, so that person is responsible for all aspects of the routine. Other nights, Olivia lets us know that she doesn't agree. But last night, Phil gave Olivia her bath, so I was able to do her bedtime routine. We got her bottle, went to her room and sat in the rocker reading books. After reading her books and making her adorable little noises, she started falling asleep. Normally, I try and put her in the crib before she completely dozes off, but last night, I wanted to wait a few more minutes before returning to the world of adult issues. The one with emails and state meet entries and writing practices and payroll and paying bills. I wanted to stay just a bit longer in the world of cuddles and adorable noises and little fingers and toes. So I did. I sat in the rocker and held Olivia close. And then the tears hit. (As they begin again while I write this). For whatever reason, that moment held so many wonderful emotions and the only thing I could think of was to thank God for that precious moment. I thought about how blessed Phil and I have been during the past 17 months. Goodness knows we have had many ups and downs, but that moment last night was perfect. We have struggled in situations with knowing what is right for us and Olivia. Phil and I have been so confused with this parenting thing at times that all we can do is look at each other and hug. Hug each other and hug Olivia.


July 2013

So last night, I hugged Olivia a little longer. I wanted that moment to last forever. I don't know if we will have any more kids after this. Phil and I both want another child, but that final decision is up to God. For whatever reason, last night at that moment, it hit me that I will never again live that moment. I will live similar moments, as I did tonight, with the bedtime routine. But, I will not have that exact cuddle moment with that exact wonderful little girl.
I don't know how long I stayed in her room holding her. I know it wasn't long enough. After I came out of her room, I poured out my feelings to Phil. I cried and smiled all while telling him about that glorious moment. We both agreed that we have the most wonderful little girl. She is the one to put sunshine in our day. Her giggle is contagious. Her smile melts your heart. Her mannerisms are delightful. She is at such a fun age right now and it is hard to think about her growing up. It is hard to think that one day, she won't want mommy to read her bedtime story. And one day, she will be old enough to climb into bed and pull up the covers. But until that day, I'm going to continue to rock her and hold her close. I'm going to be thankful every night for the sweetest little girl and the sweetest little moments.

February 2013