Crazy Eight!

Our little girl is 8 months old! Olivia has been growing and living life to the fullest. I mean, she is so excited about everything, that she even has difficulty sleeping at night :) We've been busy keeping up with our little rolling girl, so before we know it, we will have to be baby-proofing rooms and making sure things are picked up and put away (only to be taken out and messed with a few moments later)! Olivia is about 15.5 pounds (she was 15 pounds 5 ounces on 10/16) and has been continuing to grow every day. She enjoys eating corn, avocado, sweet potato, squash and green beans and does okay with peas, plums, apples, bananas, mangoes and pears. Her favorite toy is anything she can chew on! She sprouted her first tooth a few days ago, so she's been gnawing and chewing on anything she can get her hands on. While she hasn't started crawling yet, she is rolling like crazy. And she has been a camp champ at sitting up by herself. Her night time habits are still random, as some nights, she will sleep for 4-5 hours at a time while other nights she is up every 2-3. We have dealt with her first round of sickness, and the three of us were not a fan. She has a few more days doing a nebulizer treatment for a cough, so we're hoping that helps.
In the past month, we've done some traveling, spent time with family and just enjoyed the day to day experiences of growing up! Olivia spent the night with her Grandma and Grandpa Tiedeman earlier this month while Phil and I were able to organize the lower level and make it 'Olivia friendly.' Then last weekend, we drove to Rochester to see my Aunt Mag and surprise her for a birthday party. Mimi Jean was also able to sneak in a quick visit to hang out with us. This weekend, we are finally enjoying some family time with just us 3, as we are quickly realizing that those moments are few and precious, due to the hectic schedules of life.
Phil continues to stay busy with his work at the airport. Construction continues and they are trying to wrap up things for the year, before weather starts being an issue. I am still looking for a job with more hours, and continue to be an assistant swim coach about 10 hours a week. Olivia is loving her daycare and it has been great for her to go and socialize with other babies for a few hours a week.
We are planning for a quiet Halloween, but are excited for the little trick or treaters to come and visit. Our project for today is to work on our costumes, which will be very simple (we're going to be the sweetest family and go as candy bars)! We can't wait to see what everyone else will be dressed as this week!

My beautiful mess

Last week, I started attending our local MOPS program. It was 2 hours of talking with other moms, seeing other kids, and realizing that I am not alone in this journey of motherhood (not that I've felt alone, but it is something else to have about 50 other moms in the same room sharing the same struggles and joys). The message for this year is going to be 'Beautiful Mess' and we listened to a clip of one of my favorite songs by Francesca Battistelli called 'This is the Stuff.' I encourage everyone to listen to the words and know that while things may be crazy and hectic, this is the life you were meant to have and the life that God has lovingly given to you. It is so easy for me to sit here and say 'of course you will always love the craziness and the stress and the ups and downs of life!' But something really struck me at the meeting and has stayed with me for the week... God made you with a purpose, for a purpose. That was a message I was meant to hear at that time. I have been struggling with not being able to find a job and then the debate of if I should just remain a part-time stay at home mom or what I am meant to do. I struggle with what I need to do to help Olivia develop and what we need to eat and how we should be with our schedule. But, for right now, God has me placed in this situation for a specific reason. I don't know the big picture yet, but I do know that there have been some 'ah-ha' moments where I just smile and nod and know that this is the reason.

The topic for the meeting was about how we, as moms, tend to compare ourselves to others. As I have previously written, I do that frequently. I judge myself based on if I can cook as well as other moms, if I can have as clean of a house as others, if I'm raising my child on the right track and so on. One of the big issues we talked about was social media and the affect it has on us. We tend to look at social media pages when we are in a vulnerable place... when we have down time or a little break in a day. I have never sat to look through my facebook account immediately after something amazing or exciting has happened. I may post something right away, but my initial thought after giving birth or getting engaged wasn't 'I wonder what is going on in the world of facebook.' That is my thought when I am feeding Olivia at 2am or sitting on the couch after an exhausting day. And when I see everyone post pictures of their amazing vacations or the flowers they got from their significant other or the successes that they had for the day, I begin to doubt myself and my success. One of the ladies that I know, who also attends MOPS, decided to go on a 'social media diet' for a week, after the meeting.  We discussed that people post things on social media in a filtered fashion. Rarely do people post pictures right after they are in a car accident, or spill red wine on their carpet, or have spit up on their business outfit before leaving for work.
So, here I am a few days later with the discussion from MOPS still fresh in my mind. We had just gotten back from our weekend away (Phil and I went to Minneapolis for an anniversary trip and Olivia stayed the night at Grandma and Grandpa's house), so things were a bit messy. As I'm giving Olivia a delicious breakfast of rice cereal, there is a knock on the door and it is someone from the City that needs to do some work in the basement.  And the first thing that pops out of my mouth is 'sorry the place is a mess. We just got back from being out of town for a few days.' Then it struck me... why am I apologizing for the way MY house is? Why would it matter to him how MY house looks when he is there to do his job. I'm sure his first thought wasn't 'man, this house is a disaster.'  So, I decided that this would be the time to show my 'unfiltered' life. This is the view of our living room and kitchen the morning of his visit. Olivia's room was also a bit crowded, since we had her two bags from the trip, plus I was putting away all of her 3 month clothes, so there was a big Rubbermaid tub in her room. (She was napping when I took the picture, and my mommy-brain forgot to take a picture once she got up).

 

Yes, there are electronics scattered around and toys out of place. Yes there are bags still unpacked and jackets laying around. And yes, the kitchen countertops have multiple bottles, pumping items and utensils.  And in our master bedroom, there is a pile of laundry that needs to be folded and another load that needs to be put away.  On the staircase, there are multiple little piles of items that need to be filed away, magazines that need to be read and little pieces of paper that could probably be thrown away. And I guarantee that there hasn't been a good dusting in at least 2 weeks. But, this is my beautiful mess and I am proud of it.

Sweet Home Colorado!

It is said that you can take the girl out of Colorado, but you can never take the Colorado out of the girl. I love going back to Colorado and just sitting and drinking in the pure beauty of everything. It is sad that I didn't appreciate it more growing up, but absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess!

Olivia and I ventured to Colorado for 12 days earlier this month. I was a nervous wreck leading up to the flight, as this would be Olivia's first time flying. Phil was in a wedding the weekend that Olivia and I left, so he drove us to the Sioux Falls airport and helped get us checked in. Then he had a little daddy-daughter time and told Olivia about airplanes and airports and how excited she should be to be getting on an airplane. She and I went through the very quick and painless security (seriously, I love smaller airports) and then waited awhile to board the plane. I had strategically dressed Olivia in a most precious outfit so that when we got on the plane, I would hear people comment on the adorable baby, instead of groan that an infant was joining their flight. Thankfully, there were plenty of other children on the flight, so Olivia had company. Unfortunately, our flight was delayed 30 minutes and we didn't find out until we were all boarded. Olivia fell asleep for 50 minutes and was not a happy camper when she woke up. Being the frantic and anxious mother, I tried multiple things to calm her down. Thankfully, I had a woman sitting next to me that is a mother to a 10 year-old boy and she told me to relax and that everyone who has children understands that you simply can't control a 6 month-old baby. Olivia did calm down about 20 minutes later and ended up showing off her adorable dimples to everyone, so all in all, she did much better than I did!

My parents picked us up at the Denver airport and then we drove to meet up with Tom and his girlfriend, Brooke. I had crazily agreed to be in a triathlon relay with Tom on Saturday morning, so it was time to meet up with him and discuss the plan of attack. After dinner, it was off to bed and up with the 4:45am wake up call! I did the 1100 swim and then Tom completed the bike and the 10K run. Team Chimo was victorious in the Olympic Distance relay!

The next few days were full of catching up with friends, taking walks that kicked my butt (seriously, I forget that I live in a land of flatness and that every neighborhood in Colorado Springs has hills and that the Springs has the altitude factor), breathing in the fresh mountain air and just relaxing. The joke was that this vacation was my maternity leave, since I didn't really get a maternity leave after Olivia was born. Olivia had a blast getting to see the house that I grew up in, hanging out with her Uncle Tom, Mimi Jean and Poppi Bob as well as meeting her mommy's friends and previous co-workers. While we were in CO, we were able to walk around the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, visit the Downtown Aquarium in Denver, eat at delicious restaurants, walk around Prospect Lake, play at the Penny Arcade, visit Poppi Bob's classroom and make many trips to Mimi Jean's work to visit her.

On one of our last days there, my parents hosted a get-together at their house, so that friends could meet Olivia as well as celebrate Tom and my recent accomplishments. As most of you know, Tom is the newest employee of the National Hockey League as a referee and I completed my M.S. in Sport and Recreation in July (and had baby Olivia in February)! It was a wonderful afternoon and I am so blessed to have so many loving people in my life!

Sadly, the 12 days passed entirely too quickly and it was time for us to head back. I was having a lot of anxiety again about the trip, especially with going through the crazy security at DIA. Thankfully, I called and asked if my mom could get a gate pass and help me through security. So, she was able to come with me through security and to our gate before seeing us off. Olivia was a rock star on the flight back and did so well. I learned that I just needed to breathe and everything would be okay. Again, I was blessed to sit next to a wonderful couple that helped me with Olivia when I was getting settled, so I need to remind myself to not stress over silly things. Phil was there to pick us up from the airport and Olivia was so happy to be reunited with her daddy (and I guess I was pretty happy to see my hubby)!
Now we're back and trying to get into our own routine. Olivia just started rice cereal tonight, so now we are quickly heading into 'big girl' territory. She will always be our little girl, but tonight was one of those moments when we both thought, 'wow, she's growing up so quickly.' Olivia has her 6 month well-baby appointment on Tuesday morning, so we'll see how our little piglet is growing!

Keeping up with...

I am that mom. I want so much for my little girl to have the best life possible that I read everything about what she should be doing at this age. What toys she needs to have. What developmental milestones she should be hitting. And what I need to be doing in order to help her reach these milestones. What is typical for a child at each age. I read updates and see pictures of other babies on facebook and I compare what those babies are doing.  Problem is, Olivia is… Olivia. She is not ‘the 5 month baby’ that I read about on babycenter.com . She doesn’t belong in a categorized group. She doesn’t have a manual (however, that would come in handy some nights). She is special in her own way. She is loved to the moon and back by her mommy and daddy. And aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents.  And that is the most important thing in the world.

Olivia's first trip to the pool

According to books I’ve read or advice I’ve received from people, it would seem that I’m setting Olivia up for failure. I don’t have a consistent work schedule, therefor Olivia is not on a daily schedule yet. But, for the most part, we are able to keep some routine from 9pm-7am on most days. I don’t have the healthiest diet, so that means I’m not giving Olivia the perfect nutrition that she needs. I am not able to stay 100% stress-free and keep things calm for her. But, I am able to provide her with love and support and many days and nights of good cuddle time. I am able to read to her, sing to her, dance with her, do tummy time with her (even though she still hates  it), smile and laugh with her and give her all the love that I can straight from my heart.

I know Olivia had a special start. She entered the world almost 6 weeks earlier than we had planned. But, that is when God wanted her to bless our lives. With her early beginnings, she is a little behind the typical 5 month old. But, I have to continually remind myself that she is technically not even 4 months old. We have been in contact with the Birth to 3 program and they will be doing an assessment on Olivia so we know what areas we can provide more assistance to her to help her continue to develop. At her well baby visits, her pediatrician is happy with her progress. Olivia is doing great with her weight and length. At her June visit, she was in the 5^th percentile for weight and the 10^th percentile for length (as she had been at her 2 month visit).  She’s been spitting up a little more than usual (she’s been taking Zantac for the past two months), so I took her in last week for a weight check. At 5 months old, Olivia weighed in at 12 pounds and 8 ounces (so a gain of 1 pound and 1 ounce from her 4 month weight). So, I breathed a sigh of relief as that is one thing that I am doing right. My darling baby is healthy and gaining weight, like a typical baby is supposed to do.

I'm 5 months old!

Our little family has our own way of doing things. We don’t have the ‘typical’ set up of two working parents. Thankfully on July 2, I passed my examinations to complete graduate school (thank goodness!), so that is one less thing on my plate. And last weekend was the state swim meet, so I will be done with coaching until September. So, I am so very blessed that I will have a full month of full-time mommy duty with my little girl. As Phil put it, I am finally getting my maternity leave that I wasn’t able to have after she was born (the day after Olivia was born, I was writing swim practices and the week after, I was back to school and homework).  But, while I can have those precious moments, I now have to worry about finding a job. As I previously mentioned, I want to provide Olivia with the best opportunities. Bummer thing is that a lot of opportunities come with a price tag. So, now I’m in the same dilemma that almost every mommy has to face… be a stay-at-home mommy or go to work? Seriously government, let’s pay the stay-at-home mommies!

It seems that we live in a world where things are always compared (and I am probably the queen of it most days). Bodies are scrutinized and achievements are completed at an earlier age or a faster rate. I will admit that I was on the bandwagon of the Royal Baby Watch and I was excited that Kate could join our circle of mommies. Then I was dismayed when I read an article about her choice of outfit to wear when she showed off her new baby and the fact that she didn’t cover up her baby bump. Seriously people, the woman just gave birth 24 hours earlier and that is the first thing you can think of?!? I thought the outfit was adorable and perfect for the occasion. But, what do I know…

It is a hard lesson of not comparing, and it is one that is taking me a few months to learn. But, in my heart, I know that I am doing the right thing for Olivia. What we do with this baby may not be what we do with the next baby. For right now though, it works for us.  And the adorable smile that Olivia greets me with every morning is proof that I am doing something right.

Catching up!

Life goes by too quickly... even if you're only getting about three hours of sleep at a time. Olivia continues to grow up and each day brings something new to our lives. We are working on a routine with our lives, but things aren't as easy as I thought they would be. She really is a good baby, but my level of patience has definitely increased :) She will be 5 months old on Thursday and I cannot believe it. She fills our hearts with her little giggles and smiles. We have gotten many pictures of her adorable dimples and a few videos of her laughing. In the past week or so, she has discovered her feet and has tried reaching for them. A few times, she's been able to grab them, but not hold on very long. She rolled from her tummy to her back a few weeks ago, but she hasn't done that again. When we put her on her back, she will sometimes move back and forth to try and roll onto her front, but it hasn't happened yet. She loves putting her fingers in her mouth and still loves her play yard. When she's in her car seat, she loves to play with her toys and pull on things. Recently, she has discovered mommy's hair and will pull on that too! Bath time is tons of fun, as she loves to splash around. Her legs are always moving, so we can't wait until she's ready for her bouncer (she's just a little too short). We've tried the bumbo chair recently and she let us know she was not a fan. It just seems that every day holds a new adventure and no day is ever the same.

We have taken her to the pool twice and last week, she tried the lake for the first time. I think she will be a bigger fan of swim pools once she gets to try therapy or warmer pools (our high school pool is on the cooler side).
Last week, the three of us drove to Brainerd to meet up with my family. They had been in Minnesota for a family reunion during the previous weekend, but we weren't able to attend as our club hosted our home meet. Olivia did pretty well with the drive (it took us a little over 5 hours, since we had to stop a few times to feed and change her). But, we survived the longest road trip thus far!
A few weeks before that, we celebrated 4th of July at our house in Brookings. All of Phil's family was here, as well as my mom, and we started off the morning at the parade. Olivia was not a fan of the fire trucks, so we weren't sure how she would do with the fireworks that night. She was a camp champ though and loved the fireworks! She would just stare at them and really didn't react to the sounds.
Every time I think that this is the cutest stage, she does something even more adorable and I realize that I am excited for her to continue growing up. Although it is really nice to have a snuggle baby right now :)

pictures

 Here's some pictures of our baby girl during the past few weeks!

aunt cindy, phil and great-grandma hollander

 

love my fingers!

 

nap time at grandma and grandpa's house

A Father's journey

So, not only have I been slacking in the photo department, I have been slacking in the update department. Life just gets going, I guess! I will write another update with more details on our day to day activities, but I have really been meaning to get an entry in honor of Father's Day.

As you all know, our birth experience was far from normal (although, what experience is normal). When we found out we were pregnant, I think the word to describe Phil's face was shock. Yes, we had been trying and yes, we were ready for a baby. But I will always remember his face when I rushed in and told him it was a positive on the test. He was such a great husband with helping me take my weekly or bi-monthly pictures to document my progress. He was the one to just sit there and listen while I cried and then laughed and then cried again when I told him how stressed or tired I was. He was just as excited to go to the birthing class with me, and even went to a 'daddy bootcamp' class, just to make sure he was prepared. After that class, the first thing he said when he got home was 'I am going to change every diaper. You get to spend time nursing, so I'm going to spend time changing diapers.' While that end of the bargain hasn't so much been upheld, he has gone above and beyond.

The night before we found out Olivia was a girl, he got to feel her move for the first time. With teary eyes, he just looked at me and even though not a word was spoken, we both knew how blessed we were and what a miracle she is. I enjoyed having 'daddy-daughter' time at night when he would put his hands on my ever-growing belly and talk with her or read her a story. He was so excited to put together the crib and dresser and all the other items that come with a baby. In fact, the day before I was induced, he had just put together the swing and the pack and play.

When I got the call from Dr. Weirda that I needed to go to the hospital, I sat on the stairs and cried and had a good freak out session. Phil was the one to calm me down and get things done. He got the diaper bag and reminded me to pack my bag. He was the one to drive the hour to the hospital while I was making panicked phone calls and sending out text messages. He was the one who was silently available while the medical staff all rushed to my attention. If I just kept my eyes on his, I didn't worry.

Once the labor began, he was there if I needed anything. He was the one to press skip on the iTunes when I thought I wanted to listen to a song and then changed my mind three seconds later. He was the one to sit in my 60 degree room, shivering while I continued to ask for it to be cooler (stupid magnesium sulfate). He was the one that kept reminding me that I could push one more time and that I was doing a great job. And he was the one that had to leave part of his heart in my room while he rushed with the NICU team to be with Olivia.

After she was born, the look on his face will forever be etched in my memory. The look of joy and pure happiness is the closest I can get to describe. He remembered to take over the camera and take pictures of Olivia. When the team of doctors was leaving the room with Olivia, he wasn't sure where he needed to go. Once I told him to leave and go with her, he had to leave me in the hands of my team of doctors. He later told me that the on the walk to the NICU, he cried because he wasn't sure who needed me most. He was the one to take the ipad to the NICU and get me some facetime with our daughter during her first 48 hours of life when I couldn't be there. He was the one to give me updates and bring back video of her just breathing. He was the one who first learned how to wash my pumping items (gosh darn on that one!), since I couldn’t get out of bed for the first two days!

Since we had such an emotional and exhausting first few days, I thought it would be good for him to get out of the hospital and walk around a sporting goods store with his dad. Of course, after he left, I was told I was being readmitted. So, back to the hospital he came. Since I didn't have any clothes or any of my hygiene items, I asked if he could go back to Brookings and then bring the items back in the morning when he drove back. He kept saying that he was driving the hour to Brookings, grabbing the items and then driving the hour back. While a 2-hour round-trip doesn't sound like a lot, he had been functioning on little sleep and it was about 9pm by the time he left. Without me knowing, he came back that night and slept in Olivia's room, since he knew that I would be angry with him if he came back to my room. When he arrived in my room at 6am, he said that there was no way he was going to be away from both of his ladies.

I knew from the time that I met him that he was going to be a good dad. Interacting with his three nephews brings happiness to his life. He has such a caring heart. He treats Olivia with such care and she had him wrapped around her fingers from the moment she entered our lives. I know as she grows up, he will be the one teaching her how to ride a bike and how to throw a baseball. He’ll read her books and tuck her in at night. And yes, I can’t wait for the day that he has his first tea party or princess ball. I know he’ll be the best-dressed person there :)

(Thanks to the wonderful and talented Hillery Janssen for the beautiful pictures)