Blessings

Last night, I had one of those moments. Mommies and daddies out there, I think you can relate. It was one of those moments that was so routine and that I had done many times before, but for whatever reason, last night tugged at the heart strings. Maybe it's because that was the moment in which the stress from the week disappeared. Or maybe it's because that was the moment in which I didn't care about anything else in the world. How cruddy I was feeling and how stressed I was about work and the fatigue simply melted away. And it was all because of the sweetest little girl.

August 2013

Phil and I have a system in which one of us will give Olivia a bath and then the other will put her to bed. Some nights, that system runs smoothly. Some nights, only one of us in home during the evening, so that person is responsible for all aspects of the routine. Other nights, Olivia lets us know that she doesn't agree. But last night, Phil gave Olivia her bath, so I was able to do her bedtime routine. We got her bottle, went to her room and sat in the rocker reading books. After reading her books and making her adorable little noises, she started falling asleep. Normally, I try and put her in the crib before she completely dozes off, but last night, I wanted to wait a few more minutes before returning to the world of adult issues. The one with emails and state meet entries and writing practices and payroll and paying bills. I wanted to stay just a bit longer in the world of cuddles and adorable noises and little fingers and toes. So I did. I sat in the rocker and held Olivia close. And then the tears hit. (As they begin again while I write this). For whatever reason, that moment held so many wonderful emotions and the only thing I could think of was to thank God for that precious moment. I thought about how blessed Phil and I have been during the past 17 months. Goodness knows we have had many ups and downs, but that moment last night was perfect. We have struggled in situations with knowing what is right for us and Olivia. Phil and I have been so confused with this parenting thing at times that all we can do is look at each other and hug. Hug each other and hug Olivia.


July 2013

So last night, I hugged Olivia a little longer. I wanted that moment to last forever. I don't know if we will have any more kids after this. Phil and I both want another child, but that final decision is up to God. For whatever reason, last night at that moment, it hit me that I will never again live that moment. I will live similar moments, as I did tonight, with the bedtime routine. But, I will not have that exact cuddle moment with that exact wonderful little girl.
I don't know how long I stayed in her room holding her. I know it wasn't long enough. After I came out of her room, I poured out my feelings to Phil. I cried and smiled all while telling him about that glorious moment. We both agreed that we have the most wonderful little girl. She is the one to put sunshine in our day. Her giggle is contagious. Her smile melts your heart. Her mannerisms are delightful. She is at such a fun age right now and it is hard to think about her growing up. It is hard to think that one day, she won't want mommy to read her bedtime story. And one day, she will be old enough to climb into bed and pull up the covers. But until that day, I'm going to continue to rock her and hold her close. I'm going to be thankful every night for the sweetest little girl and the sweetest little moments.

February 2013

Holy geeze, time flies by!

I knew it had been a bit since I last wrote, but holy cow, that was more than 3 months ago! So much has happened in that time, so instead of writing a novel, I'll try and highlight what all is going on in our little world.

Enjoying some chocolate at the Easter egg hunt

April was the quick but wonderful trip to Long Island to see Tom ref his first NHL game. It was amazing and we are all still so very proud of him. Olivia got to spend a few days with her Tiedeman aunties and uncles and Grandma and Grandpa. Olivia continued to grow and learn new things every day. We spent Easter in Brookings with just our little family. Unfortunately, Olivia was sick on Saturday and part of Sunday, so you can tell in her little face in the pictures that she wasn't feeling the best. But, mommy wanted to get those priceless photos, so I dragged her around to some activities anyway. She is such a camp champ!


14 month photo

In May, the big item was our trip to Kansas City for my cousin Ali's wedding. Olivia made things interesting by spiking a 104 degree fever during our trip down there, so fortunately/unfortunately, she was pretty quiet for the 7 hour drive, since she wasn't feeling the best. In May, I also made a quick trip to Chicago, as the Tiedeman family purchased the rights to run a swim lesson program in Brookings. So, we are officially small business owners! Thankfully, things are running smoothly and hopefully business continues to grow!


16 month photo
 

June brought the start of summer swim season for mommy, super construction season at the airport for daddy and lots of fun in the sun for Olivia! My dad and brother made a quick trip up to Brookings, so Olivia spent a few days hanging with them at the house.
Like I said earlier, it seems that Olivia is learning something new every day. She is walking like a pro now and loves to walk/jog around our kitchen island and 'surprise' Phil and I when she turns the corner. Her giggle is still one of the best things in this world. She is able to say mama, dada, shoe, nana (for banana) and doggy. She can also sign a few words, including more, hungry, please, and all done. We are trying to expand the signing language, as well as the verbal language, so it keeps mommy and daddy active by making sure we are using the correct words and pointing to things during our walks or car trips. Olivia has gotten picky with her food, so some days, she loves bananas, black olives, blueberries, and graham crackers while other days, she hates those items, but loves turkey, club crackers, corn and cheerios. We stopped breastfeeding in early June, but she is doing well with cow's milk. Her favorite activities are trying on shoes (that's a true girl for you!), pulling things out of her toy box, playing with her kitchen set, going on walks in the stroller, playing outside, riding in her cozy coupe car, opening and closing drawers (at least the ones that don't have the safety lock on them) and just being an active little 16 month old! She is sleeping thought the night on most nights (yippee!) and will typically sleep from 8p-6:30am. Last month, she moved up to the 'waddler' room at daycare, so she transitioned from two naps down to one. Most days, she sleeps for the full 2 hours during nap time at daycare, but of course when she's at home during nap time, she decides that an hour is long enough for her. She is pretty much wearing 18 month clothes, although she can still fit in some 12 month clothing.

At James and Ali's wedding

I know this isn't much of an update, but I wanted to let you all know that we are doing great! I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer! 
 
 

13 month update

A quick little update on Olivia...

Our baby girl isn't really a baby anymore.  Olivia is now 13 months and she is definitely a little person and not a baby!  She is starting to walk with the assistance of her walking toy or anyone willing to help. She is eating 'real people' food, with her favorites being banana, turkey and cheerios. But, she will eat almost whatever daddy and mommy eat. Her favorite activities are bath time, playing in her play house, walking, climbing stairs, pulling mommy and daddy's clothes out of their drawers and throwing them around their room and just playing with her toys. She does not enjoy getting her diaper changed, and definitely does not like sleeping through the night, or taking long naps. Currently, she is popping a tooth (her third one), so she's been getting up every 2-3 hours at night. But she had previously been doing a 5 or 6 hour stretch and then a 3ish hour stretch. For naps, she will sleep about 30-60 minutes in the morning and then 45-75 minutes in the afternoon.
Olivia unofficially weighs 19.4 pounds (done on our bathroom scale this morning) and fits comfortably in 12 month clothing. She babbles and has done a few 'mama' and 'dada,' but I don't think she realizes what she is saying. Her giggle and smile are still the highlights of our day. She loves to people watch and so many people will comment on her smile and how welcoming she is. In the past few weeks, she has learned to wave bye-bye, but at times, she will wave to no one (but it is still adorable). On Tuesday, she will complete her first round of swim lessons. I was the instructor for the class, so Phil and Olivia got to bond while I was the mean teacher making them (and 4 other baby-daddy pairs) get into the cold pool :)
We are taking her 1 year-old pictures tomorrow and I know they will be adorable! Check back in a few weeks to see some of our favorites! 

Cheering on the Sioux at the Frozen Four!

Looking up to my younger brother

Everyone needs a younger brother. Well, honestly, everyone needs an older sister who is as awesome as I am, but that’s already obvious J



The early years

I say that everyone needs a younger brother because as you all know, I have one. And he’s pretty amazing. In addition to his fantastic orange hair, he has a humorous personality, a kind heart, an athletic body and the motivation to follow, and now achieve, his dream. It hasn’t always been easy, but he stuck with it, and it has paid off. 

Tom has always been the athletic child of the family. Whatever sport he tried, he excelled. I don’t think there was one sport that he didn’t try and succeed (yes, he even tried figure skating and yes, he was pretty good). However, hockey has always been his #1 passion. My dad would take Tom and I to ‘skate with the Falcons’ at the Air Force Academy and Tom would skate around collecting signatures with a huge smile on his face (while I, at the adorable age of 10 and 11- years old, tried to act mature enough to catch an eye of those handsome 18 year-old college hockey players). Growing up, we had season tickets to Colorado College hockey and Air Force hockey. Tom was friends with the Colorado College coach’s son and got to help out during some practices and games. So, hockey has been a part of our lives since our family moved to Colorado in the early 90’s. 

My best man

When Tom started his job as a hockey referee, I thought it was just a high school job. He continued with this job in college, while playing club hockey for Colorado State University. When he was told of his potential with the refereeing world, he said he would do whatever it would take to keep moving up the ranks. After college, he began that journey. I never knew the sacrifice and dedication that it takes to live the life of a hockey referee. While Tom may have lived in an apartment for his first few years employed with USA Hockey, he could never really call one place ‘home.’ He would live with 2 or 3 other guys in a small apartment and would consistently be on the road during the weekends and sometimes during the week. In order to get to the city that he was working in, he would have to drive. Some weekends, he was lucky and only had to drive 3 or 4 hours each way. Other weekends, he would have to referee a game until 9pm, drive 3 hours, spend the night somewhere and then drive another 5 or 6 hours to get to his next game. Some weekends, he got the luxury to fly, but that was only because he had a game in Alaska. And while he was working on the weekends, he would spend the night in a hotel, or another employee’s apartment. So, on the weekends that he was away, his room could potentially be occupied by another USA Hockey referee that was doing the same job as Tom and living the life of a traveler. Since the season is only a few months long, he would ‘live’ in one place for the hockey season, and then have a few days to pack up his entire room and head back to Colorado for the summer. A few months later, he would pack up everything again and head out to his new home. Exhausting doesn’t even describe what I think he went through.

Fast forward to July 2013 when Tom got the magical phone call. After a few seasons of hectic travel, long days, minimal pay and cruddy living conditions, the NHL offered him a contract. He could now live where he wanted to (with some restrictions), take a plane to the majority of his games, stay in decent hotels during his travels and finally take that step that leads to the ‘big dance.’

The past few months have been wonderful to see him be an adult. Not that he wasn’t one before, but it seems that overnight, I went from having a 21 year-old brother that lived a crazy, carefree life to a mature 26 year-old brother that is talking about business suits and travel and a responsible future. This week, my little brother got the joyous news that he will be a referee in his first NHL game. And you better believe his whole family will be there cheering him and supporting ‘Team Ref.’

Many people may think that they have the best younger brother. Sorry, you're wrong.  My brother is the one with the best 'one-liners.' My brother is the one who played 'communion' with me in the kitchen with bread pieces and Kool-Aid. He is the one who dressed up in my old Homecoming dresses for skits during AirBand. He was the one to start T.C. Tailgate at the high school and attempted to bring back the fanny pack during his senior year. Tom is the one that camped out with me in the backyard in elementary and middle school, built forts with me in the living room and had movie nights on Christmas Eve. During the long summer state swim meets in Grand Junction, he was the one to memorize the turns on the slide and tell me about it after I was done swimming. He has made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry, and just listened when I needed to talk. So while everyone should have a big sister, I can honestly say that life with a younger brother may be one of the best things in this world.  


*Everyone should tune in to the NY Islanders vs. Ottawa Senators hockey game on Tuesday, April 8*

Olivia is 1. Olivia is 1? Olivia is 1!

I love frosting!

As you can tell from my lack of updates, having a 1 year old leaves me little time for blogging, let alone leaves me with little time to barely form a cohesive sentence some days...
But, sure enough, we have a 1 year old in our house. Our little precious gift from God turned one a few weeks ago. While some days it feels like I've been at this mommy thing for awhile now, other days, it feels like just yesterday that we brought her home. She has been such a joy in our lives, in our family's lives and even stranger's lives (this morning while grocery shopping, a person standing in line told me that he needed that adorable smile from Olivia this morning).  She is cute. And adorable. And smart. And so many other things.  One thing is for sure though, we are so proud and happy to have her as our daughter.
For her 12 month check up, Olivia weighed in at 18 pounds and 9 oz and measuring 26.5 inches long. She is still rocking the 10th percentile in most areas, but her doctor continues to be happy with her progress thus far. She is sleeping about 4 hours at a time during the night and getting up 2-3 times at night. Her favorite foods are bananas, avocado, black olives, turkey, cheerios and almost any baby puree. She still has just the two teeth, but with the amount of drooling, fussiness and wanting to put everything in her mouth, I am thinking that those upper teeth may be coming in. She loves playing with her toys and for now, she really hasn't identified a favorite, but she loves her Discovery cups, connecting links and anything that plays awesome music (read: annoying tunes that are cheesy and get stuck in your head and you find yourself humming it during the day)! 

Olivia's first birthday party was a small family gathering with Phil's family and then my parents. My mom flew in for a week and my dad flew in for the weekend. We had her party at a hotel and it was exactly what Olivia dreamed it would be! There were streamers and balloons and family and pictures being taken and of course, the cake! Like mother, like daughter I guess :) Seriously, the child loves cake. It was a happy afternoon and Olivia is so lucky to have such a great and loving extended family.

The happy grandparents

While my mom was here, we talked about the events leading up to Olivia's birth. I remember a few things, such as getting the call from the hospital, checking in to Labor and Delivery and a few moments of the labor. I remember feeling an extreme sense of relief (physically and mentally) when I finally pushed her out. And just praying during those last pushes 'please let her cry, please let her cry,' since the doctors had told us that she may not cry due to the premature delivery. I remember hearing that first cry and just putting my head back, knowing that she was here, but not comprehending that she was here. Just 24 hours before she was born, we were having lunch with the swim team for a fundraiser and going through Olivia's room making a check list of what items we still needed and deciding what we should bring to the hospital.  In those 12ish hours from the time I was admitted until the time she was born, I had no idea the support, prayers, phone calls, text messages and everything else that was going on. Talking with my mom, she told me that she had called around 2 or 3am and was talking to me and I said something along the lines of 'well, aren't you just chipper this morning' (and of course I said it in the not-so-nicest way possible). She had also taken on the task of letting my best friend Kari know what was going on. My mom was the one to call my in-laws and let them know how serious the situation was. I don't remember anything the doctor's said about my condition, but I do remember a few nurses coming in and commenting about how good I looked, considering my labs. Phil has told me how many doctors and nurses came into my room once I started pushing, because they were unsure about the level of care that Olivia and I would need. It is amazing what your brain and body remember and forget. I remember being in pain, but don't remember how much. I remember crying because the only thing on my birth plan was an epidural, and crying because the pain from my enlarged liver, but don't remember crying because of the contractions (goodness knows I did though!). One thing that I will always remember is the first time seeing Olivia. Just this helpless, adorable, wonderful little person with the machines hooked up to her. I remember touching her and holding her hand. Even as I write this, I have tears in my eyes because I will always remember how proud and scared I was in that exact moment. That moment is one that makes me the person I am today. That moment is the one that encourages me to be the best mommy for her. And to protect her. And to love her. And to cherish the smallest things.

Life with Olivia is full of small and wonderful things. Even the most monotonous things have a new life to them. Eating dinner now has mini food wars and 'make up' sessions, compliments of the little one with avocado and banana on her fingers. Waking up now has a babbling song, compliments of the singer in the crib. Going to bed now has tiny fingers and tiny hands wrapped in mine. Doing chores now has a little girl laughing and crawling and following me. And now this week, we have a little girl that loves her new walker toy and has discovered the joys of walking. All too soon, we will have a little girl that takes that first big step away from her walker or her dada or her mama and ventures into her next adventure. And guess what Olivia Grace, your mama and dada will be there with you for every minute, cheering you on and celebrating the little things that mean so much to us.

A letter to Olivia's mommy

The other night during my evening Facebook browse (yes, it is a nightly ritual for me- don't judge), I ran across this article that someone had posted:
http://carolynee.net/a-letter-from-a-working-mother-to-a-stay-at-home-mother-and-vice-versa/
 I thought it was a great perspective from both sides of this mommy road that we are on. And it made me start thinking about all of the times I have put myself down, or been discouraged, or happy, or anxious or content with the decision that I have made to be a part-time stay-at-home-mommy and a part-time working mommy. I am my worst critic. I doubt myself more times than I need to and I worry about nonsense. These past few weeks have been some of the hardest weeks. Olivia and Phil were both sick with ear infections and tonsillitis 2 weeks ago. The nights were sooo long with a crying baby and not much I could do for her. After a week of barely sleeping, I had reached my limit. I had to cancel class one morning because I couldn't go more than 10-15 minutes of talking without crying. In the past 2 weeks, I have cried in front of two different doctors, in front on the receptionist at school, a board member of the swim team, and Olivia's daycare (as well as many times in front of Phil and to my mom). But, I know that things are meant to be and there is a plan for me, so I need to be content and have peace knowing that the decisions that have been made are the right ones for now.

Dear Olivia's SAHM,
I know sometimes the nights get long and sometimes the days feel longer. While Olivia is only sleeping 3-4 hours at a time at night, things will get better. I know you feel like it's your job to take care of her during those dark nights, since you want her daddy to get the sleep he needs to go and work a stressful job. Even though she fights almost every nap, there will come a day that the routine that you have tried over and over again will click and she will sleep. While some joke around that you stay in your pajamas all day and just get to sit because you only have one child, just one infant to take care of... they don't know how hard you work to keep your one year old entertained. You work hard to make sure she gets enough play time, story time, singing time, and cuddling time. You do well with trying to get her to eat nutritious food, even though you sometimes have to eat your breakfast and lunch standing up while holding her. Or eat with one hand while playing with her. They don't know that you consider it a great day when you've been able to shower with no baby distractions. I know you worry about finances almost daily and think about the 20+ jobs you have applied for in the past 6 months. But, Olivia loves spending time with you. She loves learning to do things first with you. She loves crawling all around the house just to follow you. She loves giggling as you help her crawl up the stairs. And she loves that you are one of her best playmates, and have been for the past year. She knows that you will be there for her when she cries, to laugh with her when she giggles and to clap your hands when she has accomplished something new. You are doing a great job mommy.

Dear Olivia's WM,
Your daughter has an amazing woman to look up to. She will soon learn about how her mommy not only finished graduate school, worked a teaching assistant position and worked as head coach, but she did that all while her daughter was in the NICU in another city that was an hour away. She will learn that it's okay to pursue her educational dreams and to try different jobs. Olivia loves her daycare and you and your husband did a great job with picking out a loving and caring facility for her to go to for those few hours every day. While it isn't easy going from one job to the next, you are able to do it. Having four part-time jobs isn't a piece of cake, but you do it with a smile on your face. Sometimes it takes writing a swim practice at 10pm, other times it takes reviewing a teaching lesson at 6am, but you do it. I know some days you wish you had a 'typical' 8-5 job, in which you could leave your work at your desk and be able to have dinner every night with your family. But, on those evenings that you are working late, your daughter is having an amazing opportunity to bond with her daddy. Right now, I know you are anxious about having to travel for 3 days for a swim meet and not be close to her, but your daughter knows that you love her more than anything. Some day, she will understand the love you have for her when she hears about the trials of having to find a place to pump and some of the conditions that you had to pump in. Some day, she will know that the few hours away from her meant that you were helping others. And some day, she will have her first job and you will be able to tell her some great stories that you have about your first (and second and third) job. You are doing a great job mommy.

A time of patience

Saturday morning, I drove through a blizzard. A real South Dakota highway of nothingness blowing snow zero visibility blizzard. I was coaching a swim meet in Watertown, which is about 60 miles north of Brookings. On Friday, it took me about 55 minutes to get from our house to the swim pool. On Saturday morning, it took me 1 hour 50 minutes. There were definitely points when I thought, this is ridiculous and I should turn around. There were also points that I thought that it wasn’t that bad of a drive. And there were points that all I could do was pray.

That drive was a good reminder to me that while I can’t see what is in the future, there is a destination. There is a final point that I am traveling to. And there will always be a few angels and a God to watch over me and protect me on that journey. While I may not know why things are happening, there is a purpose of the timing.

When people think of January, they think of new beginnings and a time to start fresh. I’m beginning to think that January is a time for me to quickly learn patience and learn that there is a greater plan for me. January has held some happy times and some sad times for me. January 2005 was when Phil and I went on our first real date. January 2007 was when I started my internship with the City of Colorado Springs. January 2008 was the month that I got to start planning our wedding. January 2011 was the month that Phil interviewed for and accepted the airport manager position in Brookings. January 2012 had some major ups and downs. That was the month we had a miscarriage and I had a D&C procedure. But it was also the month that we moved into our first home. January 2013 was the start of baby prepping the house, as well as the start of some of my pregnancy issues. With so much happening in the previous January’s, I should not be surprised that this January has a few moments that make me remember that God is in control. From starting a new job of teaching a course at SDSU to driving a different car to seeing Olivia grow up in the blink of an eye, there is so much to be thankful for. This January though, Phil and I are thankful for technology and medical care.

A week ago, we were sitting at the table for dinner and Olivia was eating some cut up fruit and veggies. She started to make a weird jerking/twitching move and Phil and I just looked at each other, asking ‘what’s up?’ She would have the movement, then be fine, then do it again. I immediately went to the phone to call my mom (Nurse Jean to the rescue!) and by that time, Olivia had stopped. During the whole two to three minutes, Olivia had about five or six of these one to two second twitches. She would smile and giggle and was in a good mood during the episode. We cautiously watched her and since we couldn’t truly explain what was going on, we thought she had a minor reaction to a new food she tried. Two days later, I gave her that same food and the twitches happened again. Thankfully, I had the iPad close and was able to video a few clips. I sent them to Nurse Jean, called Phil and we talked about what we should do. Thursday at lunch (she didn't eat that fruit again), Olivia had three minor episodes and away to the pediatrician she went. After a physical evaluation and blood work (which was normal), the doctor watched the video clips we had, asked a few questions and then said she would recommend we go see a pediatric neurologist. Our appointment is April 1, so we feel okay that our doctor doesn’t think it is urgent enough to get her in sooner. But now we sit and wait. And pray. And give a few more hugs and kisses. And know that during this blizzard of our life right now, while we can’t see what is to come, we know that we have the guidance of a loving and caring God.